Job hunting for Jesus?

So I was talking to a good friend yesterday and I realized that this is shaping up to be one of the weirdest summers I've ever had. I'm not sure why (it's not really bad or anything) but when I think about it, I just get a vibe of weirdness. As I told her, it'll probably be one of those "Oh, I see in hindsight" type things that I'll figure out at the end of the summer.

As isn't unusual for me, I'm not really sure where I was going with that, but it seemed like something that needed to be said. I don't know, maybe it will come up again sometime in the future. But you're probably wondering about the title I gave this post, and I realize it doesn't really make that much sense, but I promise there is a connection.

Since I've been home, I have been looking for a summer job. The more jobs that I applied to and didn't get, the harder it became to keep filling out that next application, and making that next phone call. And as I started to wonder why it was so difficult to continue to press forward, I also realized that this feeling was not original, I had experienced it before. Then it hit me...I've felt this way before when sharing Jesus with people. And I realized that these feelings that arose when looking for a job were the same that attempt to hinder me in sharing my faith: pride and fear of rejection.

I put those two together because without pride, there would be no reason to fear rejection unless there is some feeling in myself of self-entitlement. And as I examined my life, I realized there was. Most things in the past have come easy to me, and while looking for a job, I felt entitled: "I'm intelligent," "my resume is excellent," "Why wouldn't they want to hire me?" all spoken in confident. But as time progressed, those same statements became warped a bit with an air of doubt behind them: "But, I'm intelligent," "my resume is pretty good," and "why won't anyone hire me?" And then I realized the connection.

The other night in Bible study I was reminded that as a Christian, I can't seperate my life into the "secular" and the "spiritual." As a child of God, there is no aspect of my life that can be seperate from God. Although the quote was originally used to refer to things such as entertainment and other things that can be spiritually negative if we try and seperate them, I think it's just as important to apply that to every aspect of our lives. In the situation of witnessing to others and telling them about the love of God, it's more obvious than if someone were to slap me clear across the face. There's no way I'm about to put myself out there to tell someone about Jesus if I'm relying on myself to do it. You better believe I'm fully relying on not only the grace of God, but also His love needs to be in me in order for me to share it, and I'm hopeless without the guidance of His Holy Spirit. If I weren't, there'd be as much gospel sharing done as there would be if an actual chicken were standing there because metaphorically speaking, I'm no lion. But when it comes to something such as schoolwork or job-hunting, somehow I actually disillusion myself into thinking that I don't really need to rely on God...I got this... I subconciously "secularize" those aspects of my life.

Well, clearly I hadn't gotten the full lesson after this school year which was probably the roughest I'd experienced, ever. But that's all good, cause God's still teaching me. Without His help, I can't keep myself motivated enough to be persistent in looking for work. I'd just chicken out. Glad I'm learning this now. It's funny how many times, I have to go through stuff that ain't necessarily so easy, for me to get what seems to be such an obvious point. But it's a good thing, I need to stay humble cause God resists the proud and I'm beginning to learn that I don't know so much. And that keeps me thankful and in need of God's help and the wisdom and guidance of the wonderful people that He has put in my life.

Until next time, May the humble and meek Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ dwell within you! :)
Signing off with the other LOL