Sunday, June 27, 2010

Onomatapia in use

Vroom, Vroom
My car is driving
I park, I sit
time passes
click, Slam
I lock the car and close the door
step-squeek-step squeek
up the stairs I go
Hello, How are you?
chatter chatter chatter
Fill this out, sign here
and here, here, and Oh, there as well
"You've got the job, start this afternoon"
down the stairs I bound
Into the car
back up and begin the drive home
Vroom, vroom, vroom
thinking quietly to myself
talking to God
maybe a combo of both
smoke rises behind me
releasing the smell of burnt rubber
Thank God I didn't hit that deer
as it ran across the road

Thursday, June 3, 2010

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... (part the end?)

So I suppose I'll finally finish this story, hehe. (as soon as I figure out where I ended last time)

(^that was me pausing to check my last blog) Last time I left off talking about speaking words of life and how God opened the door for me to be in Cleansing Streams. So I suppose that this final entry will be mostly about Chi Alpha during the second semester. More specifically about the theme of getting to know God's character more accurately. During this week, when I felt like the sky was falling (specifically and only on me) there were a few messages that Pastor Linda spoke on that were very helpful when I looked back on them. The other was the Father Heart of God seminar. So for once I'll be orderly and talk about these in order.

By the time Monday of finals week came, I was completely DONE. I felt absolutely and utterly defeated and just completely worn out...the word to describe me was just DONE. I was exhausted, worn out, and i just felt helpless against life. I knew none of these feelings were true, but my emotions were trying to get the best of me. Then I remembered the night Pastor Linda talked about being in God's presence and how His presence brings things such as joy, peace, and rest. So that night, I prayed and asked God to saturate me with His presence. When I did, He responded and peace and rest completely swept over me. I was completely refreshed! I went to bed early that night deciding to trust God with my time for the next day (cause I still had a lot to study) I woke up the next day feeling 110% better and by His grace I was able to get through my microbiology notes faster than I ever had in the past. That day, God spoke to me and He told me that I am not defined by past experiences and that I should no longer believe that lie because He is a God that makes things new.

The other message that helped me out a lot was about God's Word being alive. I guess I knew that, but I'd never really tried it out. In my times of distress I started turning to His Word and throughout that week, God was throwing scriptures at me that I needed everytime I opened my Bible: Psalms 2:8, 12; 3:3,4,8; Isaiah 41:10; 44:22; 48:10,17; and 49:23,25. The only one of these verses that I knew ahead of time was Isaiah 41:10, and I hadn't reall thought about it. Me reading those verses that week was God's continuous way of comforting me, (and a decent amt of those were somewhat at rand0m...there was some systematic-ness to me reading those, sort of, but if I didn't know God, I'd have to say that me reading those was by "chance") which brings me to the last "event" of all that I shall speak of (to finally end this mini novel I accidentally started :p)

The Father Heart of God seminar. I took a lot from there, but the specific thing that helped me the most in relation to this time was that I kept remembering that the God of the universe, who controls everything, is madly in love with me, cares about me more deeply than is even fathomable by the human mind, and will work everything out for my good. Although I still don't have a concrete plan for what I'm doing this summer (and we're gettin into it according to the weather) and some of the same things that were haunting me from the beginning are still going on, it gets a bit rough sometimes, but I know that my God, who loves me, is Jehovah Jireh, my provider, and I will continue to cling to His true nature: God is LOVE!